4 Wrong Self Definitions and Expectations

Have you ever adopted the wrong self definitions and expectations of yourself? My hand’s raised.

Like in this example:

You’re the pastor’s wife? You’re not what I expected.

Have you ever been anyone’s “not what I expected”? 

If you’ve lived any amount of time on this earth, it’s highly likely. And this certainly wasn’t my first rodeo for not meeting someone’s expectations, and it wouldn’t be my last. 

False Definitions and Expectations

Because all the wrong ways others attempt to define us or we attempt to define ourselves, have circulated for countless ages. Really, these false dictionary-attempting claims started in the beginning and in our beginning. 

So, let’s look at 4 areas that should never be part of our self definitions or expectations.

And let’s discover how God defines who we are from the book of Truth. 

(1.) Roots are wrong self definitions.

Plants have roots. Those of us who color our hair have roots. People have roots from childhood and family experiences. 

Although I started going to church in elementary school, I didn’t have a spiritual upbringing or grounding in God’s Word. So when my parents divorced, I felt unseen and unheard and unloved. 

But when I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior at sixteen, and later had mentors in college and as a woman, I began to grow spiritual roots. 

Our root-system in Christ most accurately describes us: loved, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed. 

If your childhood became cut off from a secure source of parents or family. If decisions in your teen and young adult years caused root-damage. Or, if your marriage feels dried up instead of nourishing, the Lord is your source of nourishment for healthy roots, now. 

As we walk closely with the Lord, we become rooted and established in the faith (Colossians 2:6-7).

Jesus establishes our correct identity in Him. 

Our root-system in Christ most accurately describes us: loved, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed. As we walk closely with the Lord, we become rooted and established in the faith (Colossians 2:6-7). Share on X Read More…

21 Declarations for Identity and Belonging

Every step closer tied my stomach in knots. On the kitchen counter laid the evidence that my biological father existed. 

Around seven-years-old at the time, my birth certificate brought a painful reminder that my real dad was missing from my young and vulnerable life. Soon, I had a new dad enter the picture, my wonderful step-father Wendell, who loved and cared for me. 

Still, my heart ached to know deep down:

Who am I? And more importantly, Whose am I?

Likewise, have you ever struggled with questions about identity and belonging?

Who and Whose: Identity and Belonging

Sometimes we separate who we are with whose we are. But the two were always meant to be one and the same.

My father came back into my life a few years later.

My twin sister and I lived with one dad (step) and visited the other. I wasn’t sure whether or not to call both “Dad.” Because they were different as night and day in personality, discipline, showing affection, communication, and opinions.

It was all confusing.

Identity and Belonging: Never Separated

When I came to know Christ as Lord and Savior at sixteen, I began a new life in Christ with a brand new father, my heavenly Father. 

And God, the Father, not only wants us to rest in who we are in Him, but to also find our security in whose we are, we belong to Him.

Because at our very core, who we are and whose we are can never be separated. 

So let’s look at 21 powerful declarations to connect who we are and whose we are. 

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Defeat Rejection for Good with God’s Promises

I gasped reading the text on my phone. The hard-to-swallow message caused a long-buried hurt to resurface, rejection. Maybe like me, you wish for an antidote to defeat rejection for good.

Although I have felt the sting of rejection throughout my life, this was a lesson from the school of hard knocks, adult education department. 

Rejection happens in every stage of life.

Perhaps like me, rejection yanked the rug out from under your fragile heart too many times. 

But whether people introduced us to rejection early in life, later, or both, there are promises we need to cling to whenever people reject us.

And these truths change our perspective as we compare rejection from people to acceptance from God.

(1.) Defeat Rejection for Good: Rejection is something done to me, not who I am.

Rejection leaves a hole in our soul wider than the Grand Canyon. Yet, we make the mistake of equating what is done to us as a title to wear. The actions of others should never pen the labels we stick on ourselves.     

Because rejection is an action, not a person. Rejection does not make me a reject. 

On the flip side, acceptance is not only an action, but also a living being—God. So there’s no need for me to have an identity crisis. I take my cue about who I am from the great I AM.

We are patterned in the image of our Creator. Accepted. Valued. Precious. 

Rejection is an action, not a person. Rejection does not make 'me' a reject. So there’s no need for me to have an identity crisis. I take my cue about who I am from the great I AM. #Chosen #Belonging Share on X Read More…

An Empty Tomb for Every Empty Space

God provided an empty tomb for every empty space in our lives.

Does it ever seem like you took a crash course on how to manage current life that you never signed up for? The sinking feeling of emptiness that seems to linger on and on.

I experienced emptiness from an empty womb after I lost a baby to miscarriage, an emptiness from a broken heart when my father died, and plenty of other empty spaces throughout the years.

Whether it was the loss we experienced during the pandemic, a natural disaster, a family trauma or inner turmoil, you and I know how much empty wreaks havoc on our minds and hearts.

Because we can almost always mark a moment when empty made an entry point in our story.

Still, empty doesn’t define who we are, we were misinformed by the enemy of our souls.

Empty Tomb: Jesus Steps Into Our Empty

Those daydreams of shining knights coming to save the day and us. The people we hope will swoop in as a hero over our difficult circumstances and life’s unexpected curve balls. The ones we want to fill in our empty.

They all have cracks in their armor or holes in their capes. 

But Jesus steps in and rescues us from areas in our life marked: Empty found, Rescue needed.

These are our real needs. These are the areas where a true rescue needs to take place. Like how Jesus offers to fill our emptiness with living water and soul refreshing. Such as forgiveness, mercy, and grace for sin. And unconditional love and real peace only found in our Savior.

Jesus offers to fill our emptiness with living water and soul refreshing. Such as forgiveness, mercy, and grace for sin. And unconditional love and real peace only found in our Savior. Share on X

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (ESV)

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