Karen 'Girl' Friday4 Ways to Click the Refresh Button in Your Marriage

4 Ways to Click the Refresh Button in Your Marriage

Refresh, courtesy of Adobe Spark Refresh. It’s a click away.

Refreshing takes place everyday in my home. Because the button’s been clicked countless times on my computer. In fact, every time I make edits to this blog site, the changes only become visible after I refresh my internet browser.

And the same holds true with social media. I refresh to see the updates made to my profile. But if I don’t hit refresh, my computer sees the former version of a page in its memory.

So, the same holds true in marriage. Changes we’d like to see are visible after we refresh. Re-energizing our marriage takes intentional effort.

Most of all, refreshing is biblical. For instance, Sabbath rest (Exodus 23:12 ESV). There’s also soul refreshing (Psalm 23:2 NIV). Refreshed by another Christian’s presence—company (Romans 15:32; 1 Corinthians 16:18 ESV).

Finally, the love relationship (Song of Solomon 2:5 ESV). While the pages in our memory may contain fun-loving moments.

Sometimes we hold too tight to yesterday's marriage memories instead of making new ones. #marriage Share on X

Yet, God intends we revitalize our relationships. First and foremost, a daily interaction and intimacy with Him. Secondly, letting the Lord give new energy to our marriage as we set our sights on the refresh button.

Whether we desire to rekindle the romance or deepen the friendship or both. To create today versions of our marriage, it means we refresh the relationship. Because if everything we hold true and lovely about our marriage is in the former category, it’s time to hit the button.

Here’s 4 ways to click the refresh button:

Change your normal routine. Sure, routines can be good for the workplace or pets. But when it comes to our spouse, routine can become dull and equal boredom. Remember how energized you felt in the dating relationship? We breathe new energy into our marriage when we change the way we’ve always done things. This can be as simple as doing different activities together. My husband just finished teaching a three-week marriage series at our church. Mike encouraged couples to do some type of activity together every day this week. So, Mike and I went on a walk. Also, we played cards one night—just the two of us. After I won the first game and he won the second game, we decided to call it even and go to bed before any competitive attitudes peeked through.
Boost your communication. Listen to hear and understand. And talk to relay positive encouragement and not negativity. Mike conveyed these thoughts in his sermon. In every argument or discussion, there will be either two winners or two losers, not one of each. This doesn’t mean we keep silent on the tough issues or never convey our hurts or needs. But when our words create a negative atmosphere, our spouse feels defeated.
Revitalize your thoughtfulness. Honestly, I know for me, I’m all about doing kind and compassionate things for others. Both people in person and online. Sending notes of encouragement or giving a friend a gift. But thought-out acts of love for Mike sometimes fall off my radar. Why is that? The enemy. He doesn’t want our marriages strong…refreshed. Our spouse should be our best friend. And my spouse should be on the receiving end of my best efforts in thoughtfulness. Write a sweet or flirty love note. Ladies, stop on the way home for his favorite hot drink and surprise him. Guys, when you’re having lunch with a friend, get her food to go and drop it off at home or at her office.
Invigorate your dates. Many couples fail to protect this time together. Whatever the season of life, date nights or date days should be protected with a passion. Do you have young children and live away from family? Find good babysitters and go out. Dragging from the long work week? Get in bed early on Friday night and plan a daytime adventure on Saturday. Running low on funds? Research creative, inexpensive dates for couples. Once, Mike and I went to Sonic Drive-In for milkshakes and listened to oldies music.