What Hallmark Movies Taught Me About Marriage

Eyes glued to the screen, another Hallmark movie captured my heart’s undivided attention. 

It’s what my heart was tempted to stay hooked on: A storyline of love beating the odds, while fulfilling many of my own desires and dreams about love.

These Hallmark movies are a kind of escape from reality, even if just for a few moments.

But here’s the big difference between the movies and our own reality: There’s always a happy ending on Hallmark movies.

Always.

Soon, if we aren’t careful, we compare the happy endings with our own reality and the result is disappointment. 

Since I wanted an even closer look at what happened in my heart and mind as I watched these near fairy-tale films, I decided to view a Hallmark movie and made some mental notes of how it affected me.

And this is what I found.

All’s Well in the Hallmark Universe

In this particular film, a young couple planned their upcoming wedding at a beautiful venue. While there were glitches in the wedding plans, extended family issues, and miscommunication between the bride and groom, all was finally good in the universe as they worked out each issue. 

I couldn’t help but think about the message this sends to the many couples experiencing or who will experience glitches in marriage or family. Such as a miscommunication between our spouse and us. And if it doesn’t end well? What then?

Also, I discovered my heart getting caught up in the beginning stages of romance, first love. Ah, sweet love. Then I remembered when my husband and I were young, in love, and in the initial stages of our blossoming relationship.

So are we different today? A resounding Yes! We’ve been married over three decades, of course our relationship is different than in the beginning. Because different is often better and sweeter.

How to Take Ownership of My Response

While I can’t control the response of others, there are some ways to take ownership of how I respond.

Whether it’s our spouse, our children, extended family or friends, we often respond in either inappropriate ways or at the inopportune time.

You know that saying, “Open mouth and insert foot.”? 

Because we all have times we let our mouths run ahead of us. Or, we think we must say the first thing that pops in to our head. Or, we assume we are right and the other person is clearly wrong. 

But we can’t physically see or determine what is going on behind the scenes—what underlying issues may contribute to the other person’s words and responses.

So let’s unpack three ways we take ownership of how we respond.

(1.) Realize I can never control the responses of others; I only control my response through help from the Holy Spirit.

I’ll never control the words or responses of others. I only control how I respond. And I possess the power to control my good and godly response when I’m walking in the Spirit. 

Hang-ups About Love and Recapturing the Truth

Hang-ups about love leaked from emotionally expensive experiences. ~Jo Ann Fore

Often, we hold misconceptions about love from personal experiences.

Maybe we formed wrong ideas about love from our childhood. 

Or, somewhere along the way, we experienced a lack of love, abandonment, abuse, neglect or broken promises and a broken heart. 

But if we uncover the misconceptions, hang-ups, emotionally expensive experiences caused in our hearts regarding love, we discover the truth.

Hang-ups: Overuse and misuse of the term love. 

We use the term love to describe affections for everything from possessions and food to our favorite sports teams and music. 

You might hear me say, “I love cinnamon rolls, chai tea lattes, sunsets, boots or pasta.” Likewise, we may use “hate” for things we don’t like.

Even if the good Lord never intended our overuse and misuse of the word love in this way, it’s a part of our culture. 

And when I love and I hate are so carelessly thrown around, our hearts may not distinguish between when love’s attached to emotions and people and when it’s not.

Hang-ups: When love is missing.

How many kids have made statements like: 

“My dad worked a lot to give me the world, but all I wanted was for him to love me.” 

Confident God’s Able of Immeasurably More

Praying for you to the God who does immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.

I sent this message to a friend with the assurance we serve and pray to the God of immeasurably more. 

Immeasurably More

Because this particular Scripture is one of my favorites: 

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

Google tells us immeasurably means, “to an extreme or extensive degree; immensely.”

And defines more as “a greater or additional amount or degree.”

Therefore, it’s doubled in degree and greatness and amount.

Far More Abundantly

I also like how the ESV states it.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Again, according to Google, abundantly means “in large quantities; plentifully.”

And so we conclude these things about God’s ability. It’s extreme or extensive, greater and additional amount, and in large, plentiful quantities.

Kneeling and Praying

But what does it mean for us and praying? Also, what comes before verse 20 in chapter 3 of Ephesians causing the Apostle Paul to began with Now?

10 Ways God Desires to Set Apart His People

Sometimes we misunderstand what set apart means for God’s people.

Because the purpose in being set apart is to be set to something else. 

Biblically speaking, something else is desiring what God desires for us.

It means desiring someone else—God. And not desiring the things of this world more.

So here are 10 things God desires to set us apart from that help us to desire Him.

(1.) God desires to set us apart from other gods.

Even after we realize God is the one true God, we still struggle with letting Him reign supreme in our lives. And other gods are anything or anyone that take the Lord’s place in our heart—even “me.”

(2.) God desires to set us apart from religion. 

When the Lord sets us apart from the rules and regulations of doing to obtain salvation, we are free to just being in Him, His free gift of grace. This sets us to a deep and intimate relationship with the God of the universe.

26 Ways to Strengthen Our Marriage A-Z

We all desire to strengthen our marriage.

But…

Good marriages are made.

And strong marriages birth from intentional work. 

So in the busy everyday grind, how can we prioritize and invest in our marriage? 

What practical things strengthen our marriage?

Because I need this as much as anyone.

Here are 26 suggested and practical ways (ABC’s) to strengthen our marriage.

Strengthen Our Marriage: Apply, Build, Cast, Deposit

A-Apply God’s Word to issues you face. Find Scriptures that address those areas first, instead of turning to a friend or family member for insight. (James 1:5)

B-Build up your spouse through words. Use affirming words that speak life over your marriage and spouse. (Proverbs 18:21)

C-Cast your cares on God first, then your spouse. Going to God first positions your spouse to be what God intended—your partner in marriage, not your Savior. (Psalm 55:22)

D-Deposit into your relationship more than you withdraw. Imagine a bank account where you withdraw more than you deposit. Soon, a spouse feels empty or overdrawn.

Strengthen: Expose, Fan, Grow, Hold

My 10 Favorite Attributes of God as Father

I first met God as Father at sixteen. Since that day, the Lord Almighty is my Abba Father.

And the Bible confirms this happens when we accept Christ as Savior, God’s gift of salvation.

“…God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba Father!’” Galatians 4:6b (NIV)

This meant everything to me then and now. Because my earthly-father story includes chapters of abandonment, a longing to know my biological father, dreams to be loved by a father, and a redemptive ending that still amazes me.

You see, every Father’s Day I celebrate three fathers.

First, during my dad’s absence, a wonderful stepfather came into my life as a young girl. Wendell loved and cared for me like his own flesh and blood. Since fatherhood runs much deeper than bloodline, he’s an amazing dad.

Next, my biological father came back into my life in elementary school. And we slowly rebuilt a father-child relationship again. But he was an atheist. So as soon as I became a child of God, I started praying for my dad. Sixteen years and over 5000 prayers later, my biological father became a child of the heavenly Father, too.

Dad passed away in 2010. And I’m always a little tear-filled this time of year. I really miss him.

Yet, as we honor fathers this month, I also want to celebrate God as my Father.

Regardless of our earthly-father experience, God as Father, rises above any father definitions we write into our stories. He is Abba Father. Here are 10 of my favorite fatherly attributes of God.

God as Father Loves

(1) He adopted me.

Practical Prayers to Pray From Head to Toe

Often we forget to pray specific and practical prayers.

Like prayers taken directly from God’s Word that are powerful when spoken over the various areas of our lives.

This is especially true where we struggle.

So let’s address the issues we face as believers from head to toe. And these prayers include the help we need from the Bible. 

Our prayers include: our mind, eyes, ears, mouth, shoulders, heart, hands, and feet.

Everything from our head to our toes.

Practical Prayers: Mind

Father God, You created my mind, so I submit it to Your care. Help me set my mind on eternal things. And give me power to take every thought captive, making it obedient to Your truth. I cast out every lie from the enemy. Help me meditate on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and excellent of praise. Let Your Spirit renew my mind daily in Your Word. Also, give me the mind of Christ. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Scriptures: Colossians 3:2, 1 Corinthians 2:12 & 16, Romans 12:2a, Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 10:5)

Practical Prayers: Eyes

Lord, Your Word reminds me how my eyes can cause me to sin. So help me turn my eyes away from lust and temptations like overspending, addictions, and sexual immorality. Place in me a desire for integrity. Give me the strength through Your Spirit to not set things before my eyes that do not please You on television, devices, and online. Because those things never bring honor to You, but defile my flesh. And it stunts my growth in You. Instead, let my eyes be raised to You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Scriptures: Genesis 3:6a, 1 John 2:15-16, Psalm 101:3a)

Practical Prayers: Ears

7 Things God Wants Us to Know About Hope

God wants us to know.

Hope is one of those words we often overuse in our daily vocabulary. Such as hoping to get something good to eat, for a good income tax return or not have to pay too much, to land a new job, and so on. But God wants us to know more.

We underestimate the power of hope in our lives and in the heavenly realm. Perhaps, you relate to these 7 things God wants us to know.

(1.) God wants us to know we are never far from hope. 

Hope. In tragedy, it is there. During dark moments, it covers with light. It soars above despair. Life brings hurt, heartache, and disappointment. 

And hard places dissolve every ounce of faith. But in an uncertain world, there is an undeniable hope, an unshakable anchor for our soul. As the unexplainable happens in life, there is a promise that brings hope near. 

(2.) We choose between hope-less or hope-filled. 

Because the world only offers hope that fades and fizzles away. But God offers the kind of hope still standing when all else fails—a foundation on something outside of this world. 

Although hope seems intangible in how it’s not seen or touched, it is something we can know exists and then grab ahold of. 

Therefore, the perfect place to search is God’s Word. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13, ESV, emphasis mine)

(3.) God wants us to know we can personally know the Hope-Giver. 

Connect Who You Are to Whose You Are

Every step closer tied my stomach in knots. On the kitchen counter laid the evidence that my biological father existed. 

Around seven-years-old at the time, my birth certificate brought a painful reminder that my real dad was missing from my young and vulnerable life (both me and my twin sister).

Although I had a new dad enter the picture, my wonderful step-father Wendell, who loved and cared for me. 

Still, my heart ached to know deep down:

Who am I? 

And more importantly, Whose am I?

Likewise, have you ever struggled with questions about identity? We discussed identity in Christ recently. Yet, we need to take it a step further.

Who and Whose 

Sometimes we separate who we are with whose we are. But the two were always meant to be one and the same.

My father came back into my life a few years later. And my last name had already changed to my step-father’s with my adoption. Then, my name changed again, back to the original family surname, when the adoption was deemed as not valid.

My sister and I lived with one dad (step) and visited the other. I wasn’t sure whether or not to call both “Dad.” Because they were different as night and day in personality, discipline, showing affection, communication, and opinions.

It was all confusing.

Identity and Belonging

When I came to know Christ as Lord and Savior at sixteen, I began a new life in Christ with a brand new father, my heavenly Father. 

And God, the Father, not only wants us to rest in who we are in Him, but to also find our security in whose we are, we belong to Him.

Because at our very core, who we are and whose we are can never be separated. 

So let’s look at powerful declarations to connect who we are and whose we are. 

Connect: God Knows My Name

(1.)  My heavenly Father never goes missing from my life. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5b (ESV)

(2.)  God knows my name. (Isaiah 43:1)