Glam Checklist: Flashing Billboards, Tooting Horns, Scooping Poo

I bent over to scoop dog poo. The bright lights of a billboard flashed across my mind, “I’m living the glamorous life.”

When your office is in your home, there is no incentive to “fix up” to go to work. No reason for glam. My typical daily routine: get out of bed, take the dogs outside, drink hot tea (I’m not a coffee drinker, I haven’t grown up) and eat oatmeal (yes, every single day.) Then I start the work day in sweat pants or shorts and t-shirt, usually no make-up (I do brush my hair and teeth.)

My first consulting meeting each day is with a higher power. Not my direct supervisor or the CEO of a company. The higher power…God. I consult with the Lord through prayer—talking and listening—reading and studying scripture, and devotions written by other authors.

God was the first best-selling author to be in print. You should read his book, the Bible. I endorse it not as “one of,” but “the best book I have ever read.” He inspired humans to write his words and his-story on the pages of a book as a guide for this life and the next.

Back to work. My career duties include marketing and business development for several companies; conversing through computer databases, online chats, emails, and phone calls/meetings. I’m alone except for a wire-hair dachshund, Sadie, and a pug, Big-T. They are my only side-kicks in the office.

During a mid-day lunch break, the dogs go outside again, along with me—the glamorous one. People who know me and travel on a busy road near my home, sometimes spot me…scooping poo. A horn toot indicates: “Hi Karen, it’s me…your friend…I see you…living the glamorous life.

Afternoons are spent on more work, writing, and preparing for speaking engagements or a Bible study. Since I do have a lot of evening commitments, I am fixed-up at this point. Aren’t you glad?

Packages for our church come to our home address. The delivery person must think “She doesn’t have a life.” Unless it’s a late afternoon delivery and I am finished with self-grooming. Why do I care what they think? I suppose it’s a human nature trait, along with a little pride and a whole scoop of vainness (not poo this time.)

The horror of delivery people, my neighbors, and horn-tooting-drive-by-friends thinking I sit around doing nothing all day. Thoughts—“she has no life, no job, watches melodrama on television, and eats junk food like it’s going out of style.”

I don’t have time for melodrama. Life is already full of enough drama. No one—and I mean no one—wakes up in the morning looking like the people on television. Unless, they sleep in make-up and lay on their back very still until morning. Even then, there’s bound to be a bed-induced cowlick in their hair that needs fixing. In the real world, we can’t call for make-up, hair, and wardrobe to come right away! “Hey, I need some glam and glitz over here please!”

I have a life. I work part-time which means I have a job. I write. I am in ministry—pastor’s wife at Believers Church, ladies ministry, speaking engagements, and mentoring other women. I serve on a leadership board in my community that reaches coaches and athletes for Christ, FCA Tri-Cities. I am a wife, mother, owner of two dogs, clean, and cook (sometimes.)

Does the bright billboard in my mind flash other life messages? Yes, “I didn’t sign up for this.” Do glamorous people have these thoughts? Possibly. Life is life. There is work to be done, responsibilities, serving our families, churches, and others. Being involved in community. On a good day—your life is probably about as glamorous as mine.

There is a life I have signed up for…eternal life. The sign up fee was paid by the unglamorous, gruesome, bloody crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ.

Scooping poo, horn toots, and delivery people are welcomed—they show I am alive! We are alive! We have life. We have the best-selling author’s book to guide us in truth about life.

Consult with God. He’s our direct supervisor for life. It will cut down on the melodrama.

Our billboards will be flashing, “I’m living the abundant life!” John 10:10

Live it up!

© 2014 by Karen Friday