How to Center Our Marriage Love in Jesus’ Love
Dear Wife,
When we center the love for our husband in our love for Jesus, it deepens our love as a couple.
My love story with Christ began when I was sixteen as I gave my life and heart to Jesus. What a sweet love for sweet sixteen!
Furthermore, my love story with my husband, Mike, began when I was twenty on a college campus. We were in a sociology class together, Marriage and Family. I know—crazy!
So, the professor gave students an opportunity to earn extra credit by attending an event on relationships and writing a paper.
And it was at this event, sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ, where I shared my love story in Christ.
After class, I heard a male voice behind me calling, “Hey!” Then I turned around to the cutest guy who said he enjoyed my testimony. I still joke with Mike about his Christian “one-liner” hoping to date me. But I was thankful he had his own love story with Jesus.
We became fast friends, dated for three years, and reached a milestone this year of thirty-four years of marriage.
Center Our Love Story In Our Jesus Story
If a love story is what we claim to be the overall picture of marriage—how we fell in love and why we fell in love and why we are still in love. Then what better way to keep our love story anchored and strong and stable than to center it around our love story in Jesus Christ.
What better way to keep our love story anchored and strong and stable than to center it around our love story in Jesus Christ. #love #story Share on XSo, whether you and your husband are both believers or you stand in Christ alone, I’d like to offer us all some ways to center our love story as a wife around our love story in Jesus.
1.) Run to Christ for wide and long and high and deep love. Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3, “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (verse 18, NIV). Because what people made fake about love, God made true in Christ. Keep going to the source of real love. This helps us live satisfied with love from our Savior. The love in our marriage will become a by-product of a much deeper and more authentic love.
What people made fake about love, God made true in Christ. He is the source of real love. #love #Jesus Share on X2.) Make the love of Christ in us attractive to our husband. Sure, we want our husbands to be physically attracted to us. And that’s a good thing. But take this a step further. Let the love of Christ shine through us. His love seen in our eyes. Jesus’ love heard in our words. His love felt in our touch. A heart beating in rhythm to the love of Christ. Also, it may help draw an unbelieving husband to Jesus and a believing husband closer to Christ. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19, ESV).
Center Our Love In Jesus’ Love
3.) Model the love of Jesus to our husband. I know what you may be thinking—isn’t that kind of love the husband’s job in Scripture? Yes, a portion of a husband’s job description in Scripture states he is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25/believing husband). Yet the full message of Ephesians 5 tells every believer to be imitators of God and walk in love, as Christ loved us (verse 1). We give the gift of love to our husband as Christ has given the gift of love to us. Modeling this love is a portion of a wife’s job description as well.
Reflect on these three ways to center our love in Jesus by asking our heart: Am I running to Christ for love first? Does my husband see the love of Christ in me? How can I better model the love of Christ to my husband?
Your friend,
Karen
Dear Wife Book Giveaway
So excited to not only be a contributor for A Wife Like Me, a non-profit ministry founded by Amanda Davison, but to also be a contributing author for our first book at AWLM which released this week.
Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband.
I’m selling the books at speaking events, my church, and to people who live in my area. If you are close by and interested, contact me. For interest in having me speak at your ladies event, go here.
And I’m giving a copy of Dear Wife away. To enter, simply comment about this post below, and/or share this article on social media and tag me or let me know. I’ll announce the winner next week.
Book Giveaway! Dear Wife:10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband. #dearwifebook Share on X*Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Sue Donaldson/Welcome Heart, Ronja Oksanen/ #AboundingGrace, Rachel Lee #DestinationInspiration, Debbie Kitterman/#Dare2Hear, Maree Dee/Embracing the Unexpected, Jaime Wiebel/#SittingAmongFriends, Crystal Twadell/Fresh Market Friday, Kelly Balarie/Purposeful Faith, Patricia Holbrook/Soaring With Him, Meghan Weyerbacher/TeaandtheWord, Lyli Dunbar/#FaithOnFire & Crystal Storms/Heart Encouragement.
© 2019 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
Karen your writing is inspiring, uplifting and challenging I appreciate how you deal with real issues and how to tackle those issues.
The basic of any believer is to “Seek first the kingdom of God and then….” so many times we try to get the (then) before we (seek first).
Thank you for your words of wisdom.
I would love to read the new book.
Darin
Appreciate your encouragement and kind words, Darin. All glory to the Lord! And, I agree, we need more of God…seeking His kingdom, and less of “me.” You’re right, we often switch it.
Being grounded in Jesus’ love first is, in my view, the only way a marriage can be successful, Karen. So glad that Danny and I are both believers! And I’m so excited about the new book you’ve contributed to. Hope it touches the hearts and lives of so many wives out there.
Blessings!
Amen, Martha! When we keep going to the source of real love, it helps us live satisfied with love from our Savior. The love in our marriage will become a by-product of a much deeper and more authentic love. Thank you about the book, we are praying the Lord uses it in a powerful way bringing Him glory!
My husband and I have been married for over 40 years. We respect each other and grow in love every day. We’ve been through ups and downs, cancer, caring for aging parents, a prodigal child, job changes, financial stresses and more. In all those experiences, God has been with us. He has carried us through each moment. We keep Him at the center of our marriage.
That’s wonderful, Melissa! The Lord never promised everything would be the mountaintop and this certainly applies to marriage. I pray we model the love of Christ to our husbands and them to us!
It must not be a coincidence that I am reading this post about your book on being a good wife on my 27th wedding anniversary! We were married 5-2-92, and have had a good marriage because we’re both sold out for Christ. I honestly think this is why many marriages fail—without Jesus at the center, it’s hard. But with Him holding our hands along the way, it’s easier.
Congrats on your book and may it help many women see how to be godly wives.
Yay, Lisa! And Happy Anniversary! I had no doubt you were sold out for Christ and good to hear your husband is too. We are praying the Lord uses the words penned in the book to help build strong marriages with godly wives! Thank you!
Good afternoon, Karen, I am blessed by your post today. In fact, God used you to give me words to share with my husband about our relationship. Thank you and thanking Jesus too. I pray the new book reaches many wives hungry for His truth. In the love of Christ, Julie
That’s awesome, Julie. Thank you for sharing that with me. Continue to keep your love story centered in the love of Jesus. I know I’m praying for that in my own marriage. And grateful to have your prayers for the book and what the Lord will accomplish through it!
Congratulations and God’s blessings to you! Praying your new ministry and new book help strengthen many Christian marriages! These words are helpful reminders. Our love for Christ is what comes first to ensure we are fully satisfied in Him. Then we don’t expect our husbands to fill something that only God can fill. God bless!
“We don’t expect our husbands to fill something that only God can fill.” So true, Melissa. Instead, we are running to Jesus for His great love. And thank you! Blessings!
Karen, first, congratulations on your contribution to this book! Your writing is so uplifiting, Christ-centered and honoring and sure to encourage many. I appreciate each of these three points you make, especially the last one, perhaps because it is often the hardest for me. It’s hard to lay my life down for my husband. Our culture teaches us to look out for ourselves, but that is the exact opposite of what Jesus did for us!
Thank you, Elaine. I agree to model the love of Christ in marriage is hard. I so often just want the “laying down a life” to be my husband’s role and not anything I must do to serve and love in a great way.
Wonderful words of wisdom from a wise lady! God bless this message–and you!
Thank you, Nancy. Always appreciate your encouragement.
Karen, this is such good advice. Your #1 is also my #1. Our husbands are human, as we are human. That means he won’t always love or understand us perfectly, and that will be the hurting place, UNLESS we’re running to Jesus to have our needs for PERFECT love met there. Like you said: “Keep going to the source of real love. This helps us live satisfied with love from our Savior. The love in our marriage will become a by-product of a much deeper and more authentic love.” Amen, sister!
#2 and #3 are so significant as well. If we’re waiting for him to love first, we’re not fulfilling the entirely of that passage in Ephesians 5. “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love.” The Christ-like affection of a loving wife can, over the course of a lifetime, transform a man who grew up in a loveless home. The love of Jesus is healing medicine. The more we lavish love on one another, the better. This sounds like such a good book!
Melinda, you always have such good insight to share. Yes! Running to Jesus for love IS perfect love. Because we will feel hurt, and that our needs to be loved aren’t met when, not if, our husband lets us down. May we follow God’s example and walk in the way of love. I like how you said a wife who loves with Christ-like affection can “transform a man who grew up in a loveless home.” So good!
Thoroughly enjoyed your post. Such a great reminder of how keeping Jesus as the core or foundation can make what’s built upon it the sturdiest. 😀❤️🙌🏼
Amen, Amber! Jesus is the most stable foundation we build on and the most sturdy love. Thanks for stopping by!
Wonderful words Karen. We talk about our love story with our husband all the time, but the more important love story is the one we have with Jesus. Thanks for that reminder. Just received my “Dear Wife” can not wait to start reading it!!!
Yay, Angela! Glad you have the book! Our love story with Jesus is absolutely the most important love story in all of history and to each of us. Blessings!
Great post Karen,
Our husbands are very important & they need our love, we also need to be continually in prayer for them.
Yes & not compromise our relationship with Jesus in our marriages but shine His love & grace to our man.
You’re most welcome to join me in a cuppa,
Bless you,
Jennifer
Thanks, Jennifer. You got that right…love our husbands, pray for them and shine the love of Jesus on them and offer the Lord’s unconditional grace and love.
What a beautiful post!! Oh what purest love our Heavenly Father has for us and it most certainly is true that when our focus is 1st on Christ then our love displays His love. It most certainly requires us to empty ourselves of “me” so that we can be filled with Christ, at times we have to do this process more often, with life’s stress. If we’re not careful, our spouse will get pent up stress poured out on them rather than the sweetest love of Christ Jesus. Thank you for sharing from your heart of wisdom, Karen. #freshmarketfriday
April, I hadn’t thought of it that way. If we aren’t pouring the sweetest love of Jesus on our husband, what are we pouring on him? Like you said, our stress or even worse. May we choose love! Thanks for commenting, your words are always so real and kind.
Dear Karen, I enjoyed reading how you met your husband. I agree Jesus is the only source of true love. He empowers us to love even when it seems impossible to do.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
Thanks, Wendy. I love the story of how we met. I like how you said Jesus “empowers us to love even when it seems impossible to do.” Appreciate you commenting! Blessings to you!
Must’ve been fun for you and your husband when you met in college. And I’m thankful for Campus Crusades because they have ministered to both my boys. It’s now called CRU. CRU played a role in helping my oldest build his own faith and not his parents’, and my 2nd son is currently involved and going to be leading Bible studies during the next school year. Thank you for your encouragement to make Christ’s love and loving Christ central in our marriage relationships.
I knew they went by CRU now, I only typed it out for readers not familiar with the organization. CRU played a significant role in my discipleship and spiritual growth in college. Thankful your sons involvement. It’s such a wonderful organization. I spent every summer of college days on a CRU summer project: Virginia Beach, Zimbabwe, and California.
Amen-Amein Sister in Christ Jesus-Yeshua Karen!!
Praise Christ-MESSIAH Jesus-Yeshua HE is KING of kings and LORD ( ADONAI ) of lords, HE is the ALPHA and OMEGA / HE is the BEGINNING and the END / HE is the FIRST and the LAST!! Glory Glory Hallelujah and Maranatha!!
Love 💕 Always and Shalom ( Peace ), YSIC \o/
Kristi Ann
Thanks, Kristi Ann. Blessings!
Please sign me up for your book drawing! Thanks!
I put your name in for the drawing, Teresa.
I particularly like this one: “Make the love of Christ in us attractive to our husband.” I’ve seen some Christian wives make Christianity unattractive to their spouses, to the point that they stay away from anything to do with religion. 🙁
Lisa, that’s so sad to think an unbelieving husband is influence in a negative way about spiritual things from a believing wife. I pray Christ’s love in us stays attractive in every way.
What a beautiful post! I, myself, have written often on mirroring our marriages to the love of Christ. Having a Christ-centered marriage is so much more than what it seems on the surface. Thank you for this! (and may God bless your new book! – congrats!)
Hey Susan, yes, a Christ-centered marriage is intentional and work. Nothing easy about it. But oh, the rewards that follow. Thank you about the book. Appreciate you commenting!
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