Marking Mother’s Day This Year
I’m so honored to have my Literary Agent, Blythe, and her mother, Helen, as guests. I met both of these lovely and godly women at a writers conference. Their book, Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters, spoke to my heart as both a mother and daughter. Their message is sure to touch you as we set our hearts on marking Mother’s Day this year.
By Dr. Helen McIntosh and Blythe Daniel
As daughters and perhaps mothers, I would imagine you’ve had your heart broken a few times. Things were said that shouldn’t have been shared.
Maybe even now it’s still difficult to talk with your mother or daughter. And then there is a marked holiday that puts the status of your relationship in front of you, right?
Always before a holiday or special event it’s especially important to guard our hearts. Many of us are prone to have expectations–that’s normal and natural–but a handful of expectations leads to disappointment and control. We simply want to control how things go.
So, as Mother’s Day comes, how do you want to mark this day? Will it be to stay as busy as possible so as not to think about your disappointment from a mother or daughter? Do you expect that she won’t call or send a card?
Marking By Letting Go
Would you consider letting go of your hopes for the day?
Certainly we hope it’s an exquisite day from your loved ones, but what if there is disappointment from a mom or daughter?
It’s important to think ahead of how you will handle it. Can your purpose in your heart how you will look not just at this day, but the coming days ahead with her?
Blythe and I (Helen) have written how to restore your heart despite the circumstances. In Mended, we give ways to reconcile your situation to God first and then where possible with each other. Mostly we want to be okay no matter our circumstances. We don’t want to let people rob of us our joy. We choose what we think about and when our thoughts go down a dark path of defeat, it’s our job to get them out of the ditch and back on the path that’s marked by God’s words over us.
I (Blythe) have noticed how much our culture wants to place an emphasis on Mom but without the spiritual root that we need to see in how much our faith plays into loving the one God has given us.
Marking by Pressing In
God assigned them to us. He must have known we could do this together. What if your mother or daughter won’t allow you to travel a hard road with her? What do you do? You can offer. And pray for the softening of her heart so she’ll be open to you and allow you to do hard things together. You can’t push the door down to do so.
And you don’t want to close the door on doing hard things together because you don’t think she’d even consider coming to your side. Pressing in and being available signals you are moving toward her. You will not be able to stay in the same place you are in and do hard things together. It forces you to move. And it will draw you closer or pull you apart. We want to inspire you to move closer to her even if it’s not reciprocated.
Your good purposes do not go unnoticed. Paul and Timothy wrote to the church at Thessalonica these words in the face of trying to encourage them to stay in the light – not to follow the paths of dark thoughts and actions surrounding them:
2 Thess. 1:11 “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.”
Marking By Our Calling In Christ
We are prompted by our faith not our actions. Our faith in God holds us and our good purpose of loving a mother or daughter well, even when it would seem fruitless or may be misinterpreted, we know that we are acting out of the calling of Jesus Christ and that we aren’t on our own – we have a community of women around us doing the same thing. Loving each other and our moms and daughters because of the love that has been sacrificed for us. Our faith roots us to do this.
What does your Mother’s Day marking on your calendar indicate this year? Instead of the typical ways we mark this holiday, what is God inviting you to do differently this year? Instead of expecting, how are you initiating?
Marking By Forgiving
Can you make a card, that you may or may not send to her, that shares the words you want her to know from you? Can you leave a mark for her that shows her you have chosen to forgive her?
We pray that this Mother’s Day would be one that invites your faith promptings and the markings of God in your relationships.
Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh are the authors of: Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters.
They can be found at www.ourmendedhearts.com,Facebook: blythe.daniel; Facebook: helen.b.mcintosh; Instagram: blythe.daniel; Instagram: nannie
Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with 20 plus years of experience in publishing. She is a speaker for writer’s conferences and writer for publications. She links bloggers with readers through BlogAbout. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children.
Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLifemagazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren.
Last Week’s Winner and Mended Book Giveaway
Nancy Head is the winner of last week’s giveaway, Dear Wife. Congratulations, Nancy!
This week I’m giving away a copy of Blythe and Helen’s book, Mended. To enter, leave us your thoughts on this post in the comments, and/or share on social media.
My Mother’s Day post last year looked at Mary, the Mother of Jesus. Mother’s Day: The Mom of a Savior
*Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Sue Donaldson/Welcome Heart, Ronja Oksanen/ #AboundingGrace, Rachel Lee #DestinationInspiration, Debbie Kitterman/#Dare2Hear, Maree Dee/Embracing the Unexpected, Jaime Wiebel/#SittingAmongFriends, Crystal Twadell/Fresh Market Friday, Kelly Balarie/Purposeful Faith, Patricia Holbrook/Soaring With Him, Meghan Weyerbacher/TeaandtheWord, Lyli Dunbar/#FaithOnFire & Crystal Storms/Heart Encouragement.
Well, I’m neither a mom nor a daughter, but I can resonate with this. After my mom’s death in 2005, I reflected a lot on what it meant to be a son–and also a son of God. It’s a lesson I need to remember constantly, that my disappointment with my mother’s untimely death, does not define me. All the missed opportunities to know her better and grow our relationship from my youthful mistakes, are now just points of reference in my walk with Christ. Thanks for sharing, Karen.
Hey Chip, I’m so sorry you lost your mom. And what a powerful perspective to not let her death define you now because you’re still God’s son. That’s gold my friend. Always appreciate the value your thoughts add to our conversation.
I was on the launch team for Mended. What a true blessing to be part of sharing the message of the book! My Mama went to Heaven in 2013, one week before her 92nd birthday. I miss her very much.
Melissa, I remember seeing your name and smiling face in the launch team group. I’m sure you do miss your mom, but 92, wow! What a long life the Lord blessed her with. My paternal grandmother died a few short months before her 100th birthday. 🙂
So glad Blythe and Helen wrote this book for mother’s and daughters. I’m reading it now and hope many invest their time in reading this book it will be well worth it!
It is such a great book, Heather. Glad you’re reading it. There’s so much to glean from Blythe and Helen’s words. I know it helped with my own situation. Thanks for commenting.
I’m not necessarily close to my mother even though I spent all of my childhood with her. I mean, we get along just fine. We just don’t have very deep conversations. She’s not really that type of person. This year for Mother’s Day I’m having breakfast with her one-on-one. That’s not usually the case on these occasions, but this time my wife can’t join me. I hope I can at least express my care for her and my desire to see her have a closer relationship with our God. Thank you for this extra push. I think I needed it.
I love what you’ve shared, Stephen. My relationship with my mother is in a very broken state right now. And we’ve never had deep conversations. I’m glad this was a timely post for you. I’m praying for your breakfast, that your mom’s heart is open to your words of care for her, and she receives, in love, your desire for her relationship with God to be closer.
Karen,
What a timely message. I know God will use this post and hopefully the book to initiate healing. I have shared it with some people I love.
Thank you, Blythe and Helen!
Beckie, with Mother’s Day around the corner, I pray this message and the message of the book help mend mother-daughter relationships. Thank you for sharing it. Happy Mother’s Day!
Such wonderful advice for all moms and daughters. For years, my mother and I had a strained relationship, but that has certainly softened over time, and with God’s help, we are actually friends. It will be my honor to spend this Mother’s Day with her.
Blessings and best wishes for your book!
So happy to hear you and your mother are friends, Martha. How wonderful and what a blessing! Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom!
Thank you for this wonderful advice to mothers and daughters.
I’m hosting a new link-up called Legacy LInkups. This months theme is women leaving a legacy. Feel free to link up if you wish
Thank you for letting me know about your link-up, Mandy! I’ll check it out.
What wonderful, faith-filled advice! I appreciate how you delve into the tiny nuances of our relationships that we would rather forget, ignore or gloss over because it’s just too difficult to go there. When I read your first suggestion of letting go, I felt an immediate sense of peace wash over me. Thank you for this beautiful, simple, truthful suggestion of grace. Then I pray I can make the time I spend with others more Christ-centered than anything else. For though we love our families, in the end, our eternal family is the one that lasts. May our blood family members be among our eternal family! God bless and Happy Mother’s Day, Karen, Helen and Blythe!
Melissa, thank you for your thoughts. There is power in letting go of our expectations, right? Love what you shared about the family of God. May we make our mother-daughter relationships Christ-centered and with all family members. Like this powerful line from the article, “Loving each other and our moms and daughters because of the love that has been sacrificed for us. Our faith roots us to do this.”
I can’t wait to read this book, Karen! I met Blythe at She Speaks in 2017, and since that time, she’s been such a helpful source of encouragement and guidance for me in my writing. I love that you’re working with her! Thanks for sharing this book. It’s such an important and restorative topic!
Stacey, I love working with Blythe. So glad she’s been a great source of encouragement to you. The book is amazing! Know you’ll love it. Happy Mother’s Day.
Some important relationships don’t come easy. What a beautiful resource for hope and healing. Congratulations on your book, Blythe and Helen!
So true, Debbie. I think the Lord intended great things for the mother-daughter relationship. So the wisdom in this book is the kind of help we need to get there.
God has been teaching me a lot about mothers and motherhood even in this season of my life (with great-grandchildren now). I want to make an impact not just in the lives of my own children but with the next generations, as well. To those who are younger … this season comes quicker than you think!
That’s great, Donna. I’m a grandmother with the exact sentiments. I desire to love my grandchildren with God’s love and influence them in spiritual things. Happy Mother’s Day.
Thank you Karen for shining a light on one of the difficult sides of Mother’s Day! There’s a lot of focus on women who are without their mothers and women longing to be mothers but not a whole lot said about women who are longing for a better relationship with their mother or daughter. Really appreciated the practical advice and the importance of letting go of our expectations! Very important part of navigating holidays and relationships in general!
You’re welcome, Emily. The book is so powerful and worth the read to help restore brokenness among mothers and daughters and just to deepen the relationship also.
Great words of wisdom here. If we limit our expectations, there’s less chance that our hopes will be dashed. Happy Mothers’ Day–whatever it looks like. God bless!
Agree, Nancy. Our expectations in the relationship are often what keeps us disappointed. Whatever our mom or daughter status,
God remains our heavenly Father. He not only celebrates motherhood with us, but He also heals all hurt.
This is such a powerful post! It prompted me to step toward someone I love, baring my heart, and trusting God to work as he will. Thank you for sharing on this holiday, which can be difficult as well as joyful!
Thank you for sharing your story, Melinda. I’m glad this article served as a prompt for you reach out to a loved one. That’s the hope and prayer behind the book as well. Hope you had a blessed Mother’s Day!
Amen-Amein Sister in Christ Jesus-Yeshua Karen!! 💜💕
Happy Mother’s day too All my Sisters in Christ Jesus-Yeshua and my Devout Messianic Jewish Sisters in Christ Jesus-Yeshua and my Devout Jewish Sisters!! God Bless you all Everyone!!
Happy Mother’s day ~> ( https://kristiann1.com/2015/05/08/hmd )!!
Our ONE True GOD’S
Thanks Kristi Ann!
This was such a good post, Karen. My mom died in April, but I think I would still benefit from reading “Mended.” It’s amazing what can happen when we let go of our expectations and love someone without expecting one single thing in return.
Sorry to hear you lost your mom, Lois. True, letting go of expectations and loving without an agenda is a good prescription for any relationship.
Fun to have shared a book in common with you, Karen. It really is an encouraging story and I loved the way Helen prompted readers with her good sentences for initiating reconciliation.
Hey Michele, glad we both were able to share about the book. I used a few of Helen’s sentences and advice in a letter to my mom.
Thanks for highlighting this message, Karen. I am naturally drawn to these stories of healing and restoration, especially when they begin with God first, and learning to allow him to mend where possible has been something I too have been called to step into without expectations of what it should look like with my own mother. Learning to really live forgiveness is such a huge part of seeing God work. I’m blessed with a wonderful relationship with my own daughter and soon-to-be daughter-in-law, so to see God restore two-fold is a beautiful blessing!
Crystal, it certainly is a message worth highlighting. When we start with God, mending takes place as only He can do on a deeper level. I like how you said,”…learning to really live forgiveness is such a huge part of seeing God work.” Amen!