Marriage Math: How 2 Become 1

Welcome to Marriage Math Class.

In school, I sometimes struggled in math. I mastered basic arithmetic. And as an abstract thinker, I soared in Geometry. 

Yet, theorems of Algebra threw me for a loop. I wondered if any of it applied in a practical way to life.

So for this article, let’s stick with the basics. 

What’s the only way two of anything becomes one? We take one away. Right? Two take away one equals one, (2-1=1). In mathematics, it works with apples or dogs or numbers.

And Scripture sheds a bright light on the concept in marriage. 

“The two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one” Mark 10:8 NLV.

You see, God’s teaching on marriage shows the answer always equals one. Unified for one purpose paints a picture of the bride of Christ, the church. Jesus taught His followers to be one as He and the Father are one. 

Then, how does this happen in marriage?

2 Become 1 

First, we need to jump back to the preceding verses. “From the beginning of the world, God made them man and woman. Because of this, a man is to leave his father and mother and is to live with his wife. The two will become one” Mark 10:6-8a NLV. 

Leave and live…leave parents and live with each other.

Two…come together. Yet, they merge into one. They not only become one in the sexual sense but also on other levels.

As an ordained minister, my husband, Mike, performs marriage ceremonies. He does such a great job making each wedding personal and beautiful. However, years ago at a ceremony, he mistakenly said, “One will become two.” Then he corrected it.

Sadly, it’s often our mindset going into marriage. One plus one equals two, (1+1=2).

Simple math addition. But marriage is never simple. It often turns into a difficult math problem, hard for us to calculate the answer. Still, God bases His marriage equation on oneness.

Oneness Tug-of-wars 

How do we become one from two? We are two different people with unique childhood experiences, personal interests, and individual ideas on life and family issues.

Only a few weeks after our wedding, my husband and I began competing in oneness tug-of-wars. We often butted heads on important decisions. Both of us even wanted our way in trivial issues. 

And the aftermath left us wounded, tattered, and wondering how to do this thing—two become one. 

Because Mike and I really tried to become one…one in union…one in every decision and issue. But we both carried past baggage that got in the way. Every time we attempted to move forward, we tripped over those unpacked bags.

Perhaps, we tried too hard. Or, maybe the answer lies in our effort. When marriage becomes a tug-of-war, we’ve attempted to do the work of the Holy Spirit.

The bottom line? We missed this vital aspect. Jesus is the Holy One in holy matrimony.

Jesus is the Holy One in holy matrimony. #marriage Share on X

Marriage Math

Over the years, Mike and I received both high marks and less than passing grades in Marriage Math Class. Married 34 years this month (April 6), and in ministry all those years, we continue to learn about oneness.

According to Cambridge Dictionary, the suffix “ness” is added to adjectives to form nouns that refer to a quality or a condition. One-ness refers to the state of something. 

So, in marriage it comes from and through God.

And it doesn’t mean we sit down and do nothing. Instead, we must be intentional as husband and wife or the relationship will falter under the ideas of separate or mine.

Like separate bank accounts or separate lives where individual interests and personal achievements turn into a priority. Where neither husband or wife encourage or celebrate together-ness. There’s that suffix “ness” again.

The Sum of One

Two will become one in holy matrimony…in body, soul, and spirit. 

In body by the sexual union. One in spirit through spiritual values and connecting with God. Soul oneness by becoming soul-mates in sync with life issues and family living.

For two to become one, take “me” away and add Jesus. “Me” steps aside for “we.”

For two to become one, take “me” away and add Jesus. “Me” steps aside for “we.” #marriage Share on X

Here’s one of the most important equations for our class. 

Marriage math: 1+1+1=1

Husband + Wife + Jesus = One

Marriage math: 1+1+1=1; Husband + Wife + Jesus = One Share on X

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember oneness in marriage comes from You and through You. In the name of Jesus. Amen

Featured and top photo: free stock in Unsplash.

Middle photo by Andreas Rønningen on Unsplash.

Bottom photo by Drew Coffman on Unsplash.

*Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:

Ronja Oksanen/ #AboundingGrace, Rachel Lee #DestinationInspiration, Debbie Kitterman/#Dare2Hear, Lori Schumaker/#momentsofhope, Jaime Wiebel/#SittingAmongFriends, Crystal Twadell/Fresh Market Friday, Kelly Balarie/Purposeful Faith, Patricia Holbrook/Soaring With Him, Meghan Weyerbacher/TeaandtheWord, Lyli Dunbar/#FaithOnFire & Crystal Storms/Heart Encouragement.

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© 2017 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved