6 Confessions and Lessons Learned From a Pastor’s Wife
By Karen Friday
Resentment sent me a friend request. I could choose to ignore or accept it.
As a pastor’s wife, joy and blessings have befriended me on the journey. However, the path is also filled with hard places. Resentment, discouragement and their friends want to join the posse.
We have served in 8 churches over the past 30 years and my husband is currently the lead pastor at Believers Church.
I have learned some valuable lessons along the way about “friend requests.”
6 confessions and lessons learned:
June 4, 2015 at 9:18 am | Uncategorized
Debunking: Happy, Healthy, Wealthy Mentality
By Karen Girl Friday
Let’s make a deal … with God.
A mentality is floating around in many Christian and church circles. The Prosperity Theology. God wants me to be happy. And healthy. And if that isn’t enough—for most of us, it isn’t—God wants me to be prosperous. To have an over-abundance of goods and services.
Happy, Healthy, Wealthy. I only need to believe, ask, and God will do it.
Debunk #1: Believe
A lack of belief (faith) is keeping me from all God wants me to have.
There’s a popular Christian slogan, “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” While I understand the awe-inspiring faith behind the statement, whatever God said (in the Bible) is settled regardless of whether I believe it. Scriptural truths are not up for dispute or reaching an agreement between me and God.
May 28, 2015 at 9:31 am | Uncategorized
How to Overcome the Spills in Life
Spilling of Waterfalls and Tears
It’s been years since I watched Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, Africa spilling over the edges of the earth. There’s no way to stop it—you can’t restrain that kind of force.
No more than I can restrain tears spilling over the edges of my face. “Lord, let me remind you I am speaking to a ladies group in less than twenty-four hours. And I am speaking about you.”
Why tears? The two days before did not go as I had planned. I latched onto words murmured in the negative; and felt burdened under the weight of a hectic schedule coupled with what seemed like a myriad of responsibilities.
Overwhelmed. Discouraged in every “hat” placed atop my head—a defeated mindset fitting inside each one.
May 21, 2015 at 8:38 am | Uncategorized
Thriving Member of Jealous Anonymous
My cover is blown. Having come to terms with my problem, an intervention is not necessary. I’m ready to make a public confession. My name is Karen Friday and I am jealous.
I remember experiencing jealousy as early as elementary school. Two girls were the best of friends without wanting a third to join them. What friend qualities did I not possess? I didn’t like the boy who won the spelling bee—he gloated.
Through the years, I pretended to be happy for the girl who beat me out of the lead part of a play. The boy who was a show-off at a state oratorical contest and took home the top prize.
Jealousy began to rear its ugly head in many aspects of my life. Characterized as the “green-eyed monster,” jealousy has the ugly factor. Have you ever seen an attractive monster?
Two ugly and often secret components of jealousy:
May 14, 2015 at 9:39 am | Uncategorized
I’m A Mom Who Can’t Always Make It Better
Caleb Friday
“This will sting for a few seconds.” I blew my breath on the newly scraped flesh.
I ran toward my four year old as he limped nearer. The tears flowing down his cheeks multiplied with the sight of mom and blood oozing from his knee. A kiss, bandaid, tear-wiping, and mom-cuddles will “make it better.”
My kids had their share of boo-boos. Especially, Caleb, our son. A Ninja at heart. Bike wrecks, jumps off high things, roller skates would not cooperate with his feet, and many run-ins with the concrete at the swimming pool. Usually the lifeguard’s whistle was too late. Busted chin or bottom lip—corroboration that hard surfaces are not our friends—and adversaries of mothers.
Knees, elbows, and shins are tender places. The good Lord knew how to construct the human body, this I know. “The padding is sparse on certain parts, Lord.” (As if I have a case in point.)
May 7, 2015 at 9:32 am | Uncategorized
I Need to Borrow Superman’s Cape
By Karen Friday
Shoulders back. Head and chin up. I trust it will fit nicely. Superman’s cape.
A few heroines sport capes too. Those won’t do. There’s a need to stand tall—to fly—to take on something bigger than my wildest dreams and shoot for the moon. (I’ve never hit the moon.)
I admit, a daily selection of wrinkle-free capes already hang in my wardrobe.
Independent cape: Want-ads aren’t placed in the local newspaper. I work alone, not part of a superhero team. No sidekicks or aspiring heroes necessary. I can save myself, save you, and save the day!
Comic book cape: My life is captured and illustrated on colorful pages. Children and collectors everywhere marvel at my cape-wearing-stories. Performing heroic feats, villain knock-outs, then receiving the adoration. Hero worship.
April 30, 2015 at 9:27 am | Uncategorized
The Night the Wheels on the Bus Stopped Going Round
He turned off the lights. My heart—almost audible—frantic inside my chest.
I was twenty. He was old enough to be my father. Sitting behind him had been a decision of safety. Late evening approached when a hand-full of people boarded a Greyhound bus. The majority made their way to the middle and back of the bus.
Vacationing at the beach with my dad and family. We had driven down the prior Saturday. My dad decided to extend his trip, though I was leaving a few days later in route to Africa for six weeks of missions.
I went with my father to the bus station. “It will be fine.” he assured me. “People take the bus all the time.”
April 23, 2015 at 8:33 am | Uncategorized
5 Ways to Never Give Up on Marriage
Mike and Karen, April 6th, 1985
“Thank you both for always loving and never giving up on each other! We are so thankful!”
Powerful words tucked inside a greeting card. The author is not a clever Hallmark writer. This is a personal view of struggles—in the midst of love—from a front-row-seat-ticket-holder.
Words penetrating my soul from our daughter and son-in-law, Megan and Tyler, for our 30th Wedding Anniversary. Why thankful?—we have not parted ways when the going gets tough. And it does get tough. Our children have seen our fight for love . . . for staying together.
Thousands of wonderful, joyous moments are celebrated in our marriage. A marital bliss caption; All Smiles and Kisses. But there are other moments. Marriage in the real world has a real caption; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
April 16, 2015 at 8:38 am | Uncategorized
Sexual Purity
Purity starts in our mind then trickles down to the rest of us: body, soul, and spirit.
“Go with the flow!” An iconic saying when I was a teen. Going with the flow, not fighting against the tide of popular trends, but going along with prevailing opinions.
The sexual flow in our culture promotes a philosophy of personal choice and doing whatever feels good. Whoa! What-ever is the undercurrent of impurity carrying us away from God’s standards about sex.
Philosophies trickle from the flood gates in our mind through small, steady streams of messages. Cultural attitudes on sex ebb and flow through several mediums. We aimlessly listen to song lyrics, watch visual entertainment, and read writings penned with impurity’s voice cheering us on in sex—with no boundaries. Allowing sexual impurity to defile our mind as we go with the flow.
April 9, 2015 at 9:37 am | Uncategorized
Where’s the Gravy?
By Karen Friday
Southern gals know how to make gravy. It’s one of those unspoken prerequisites for coming of age in the south and getting married to a Southern guy.
Types of gravy come in the boatfuls—you’ve heard of the “gravy boat.” Red-eye gravy. Chocolate gravy. I’m referring to breakfast gravy, usually sausage-flavored, poured over piping-hot Southern biscuits.
For 20 years my husband, Mike, served as a youth pastor. He is now lead pastor of our church. Mike grew up on Southern gravy, as did I. Many of our pastor friends often discuss whether there is food in heaven and if it’s Southern favorites like pinto beans and cornbread . . . and gravy!
April 2, 2015 at 8:00 am | Uncategorized