Want to Admire Your Spouse? 6 Practical Ways
Do you admire your spouse?
Because it’s easy in our present day culture to applaud and think highly of others.
Perhaps our admiration commends what someone has accomplished. Or we like what a person stands for such as courage, integrity, character and faith. Maybe we look up to people in the spotlight, online or offline.
But when was the last time you told a friend how you admire your spouse and why? Better yet, when was the last time you expressed your admiration directly to your spouse?
Admittedly, I fall short in this area with my husband. And it’s sad. I want to change that.
While to admire isn’t included in conventional marriage vows, I believe there’s a place for it in our marriages.
So let’s unpack 6 practical ways to A-D-M-I-R-E our spouse.
A – Abandon self-admiration in your marriage: Admire Your Spouse
Nothing puts a damper on admiration for your spouse quite like thinking too highly of yourself in the marriage. Thoughts may try to invade your mind of how much more you contribute to the marriage, care for the kids, make money or conquer most marital areas better.
Christ is our example of not thinking too highly of ourselves when He humbled himself on the cross. “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Ask the Lord to help you view your spouse with eyes of humility and how you can build them up in your marriage. A spouse who’s admired will joyfully rise to the occasion.
Christ is our example of not thinking too highly of ourselves when He humbled himself on the cross. Ask the Lord to help you view your spouse with eyes of humility and how you can build them up in your marriage. #blog Share on XD – Decide to focus on the praise-worthy attributes
Don’t fall into the trap of only focusing on what you see as your spouse’s flaws. It will not only negatively affect your perspective, but also influence how your husband or wife sees themselves and how others view them.
Become intentional to praise all the things that make your spouse a good man or woman.
Is your spouse careful with finances?
Does your spouse carry the burden of responsibility to provide a living for your family?
Is your spouse respectful in how they speak to you in front of others?
Is your spouse merciful? Kind? Caring? Loving?
Where does your spouse excel in life? No need to limit this to just your relationship at home.
Make a list of the wonderful qualities of your spouse, then give praise where praise is due—speak life over them.
M – Melt your spouse’s heart with genuine compliments: Admire Your Spouse
That list you made of your spouse’s qualities? Never underestimate the power of genuine compliments in your marriage. This is not a one time list-making-compliment-giving exercise.
Instead, it’s about staying connected to your spouse and their heart by authentically letting them know what you appreciate about them in your daily lives together.
I – Ignore temptations to admire others above your spouse
As wives, temptations may come to put other men on a pedestal. He may be a pastor, a counselor, a co-worker, a friend’s husband or a man at church. You may admire his godliness, attentiveness, goodness or other admirable traits.
The same is true for husbands. You may fight the temptation to admire another woman at work, in your family, or a friend over your admiration for your wife.
This is a tactic of the enemy. Satan works to turn our gaze and affections from our spouse onto someone else.
Sure, it’s normal to admire others, but not when it clouds the affection and admiration for our spouse.
R – Remember what you admired during dating days: Admire Your Spouse
Reflect on what you first admired in your spouse and attracted you to them as a person. That person is still there. You can be the catalyst to bring those things back to life if they are dormant.
Remember your words can make or break your spouse.
E – Echo your admiration to your children, friends and family
Wives, when those closest to you hear and see your admiration for your husband, you become a noble wife others want to imitate. It also helps ground your children in a strong family unit.
Husbands, when your friends, kids, and family members know how much you admire your wife, it confirms it in your heart and hers, and sets an example for the men and boys in your life.
Next Step: Write or type the word A-D-M-I-R-E then ask the Lord to reveal where you lack in these 6 ways and to empower you to fulfill them.
When our friends, children, and family hear and see our admiration for our spouse, it's an example for other married couples. It also helps ground our children in a strong family unit. #blog Share on X
What way speaks the most to you?
Also see, 26 Ways to Strengthen Our Marriage A-Z
Featured photos from filming for our YouTube Channel, Friday’s Forever.
Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Legacy Linkup/Inspire Me Monday/Tell His Story/Recharge Wednesday/Let’s Have Coffee/Tune in Thursday/Embracing the Unexpected (Grace & Truth) and Faith On Fire.
© 2022 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
I think this is a very timely and important message. It amazes me to hear how some women speak about their husbands. Thanks for these ideas and the great reminder to find ways to admire them
Yvonne, it is so disburbing when wives get into that trap of only speaking down about their husbands instead of building them up. I’ve been way too negative in the past over some things and glad to be in a better place of admiration.
There are so many things I admire about Danny, but I could definitely let him know more often, Karen. I will take your wonderful advice and put it into practice beginning today.
Blessings!
Martha, Danny was so faithful to make sure and keep your blogging friends up to date when you were ill and in the hospital. I could tell from his emails how much he cares for you and loves you. I pray you admire each other.
What a wonderful blessing to love and be loved! Great message.
Yes, it is, Melissa. Thank you.
I sometimes wonder if Ms. Diane knows how much I love, cherish, and honor her as much as those outside our marriage knows. You bring up some solid points here my friend. Our spouses should hear those things more than strangers or acquaintances. Moreso, I think, they should see our love and admiration for them more than our telling them. The telling should only reinforce what they see in our lives. Well done author!
I’m sure Ms. Diane is aware of your admiration, a least a portion of it. Jesus is not only our example for humility and putting others before ourselves, but He also models a show-and-tell love. You bring up a wonderful point of telling and showing love and admiration.
Great advice, Karen. It’s all too easy to maximize the little irritants (forgetting that we have them, too), and then overlook or take for granted the great qualities.
That’s the truth. It’s not easy living with anyone, we aren’t easy to live with either. 🙂 Thanks for your input.
These are valuable reminders. They are not just nice-to-have, they are must-haves for a healthy marriage!
Agree Ava, it takes healthy steps and practices to create a good and strong and healthy marriage. Thanks for commenting.
These are excellent idea for turning around a marriage, Karen. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of criticizing your spouse or thinking less of them, for we see them not only at their best, but also at their worst. We know their flaws inside and out. In a couple of weeks my husband and I will celebrate our 45th anniversary. This point that you make here was one of the most significant decisions I made early in our marriage. It turned around what had become negative and difficult. I especially like what you said here: “Nothing puts a damper on admiration for your spouse quite like thinking too highly of yourself in the marriage.”
Wow, Melinda! Congratulations on 45 years! Sadly, you don’t hear of that as much anymore…long-standing marriages. And we both know it’s not easy, it’s hard and it takes work. I admit there have been times I was negative in my marriage and us in ministry. Goes to show, ministry doesn’t put a bubble around our marriages. In fact, the enemy works tripple on us. Thanks for shairng your great thoughts.
What a wonderful acronym!
Thanks so much. Thankful this spoke to you.
Great advice, Karen. Thanks for encouraging us again. God bless!
Appreicate that, Nancy. When those closest to us hear and see our admiration for our husband, we become a noble wife others want to imitate. It also helps ground our children in a strong family unit.
Love this! Thank you for reminding me of the importance of these things to keep our hearts admiring our husbands.
Thank you, Amy. Grateful this encouraged you. I need the reminder myself!
Karen, this is so good. I love your encouragement and inspiration. God bless you!
Glad this resonated with you, Jessica. I pray we learn to admire our husbands above others, right after the Lord.
Karen, I love this! It is so important to admire our spouses. This builds harmony and love in our marriages. Thank you!
It really does, Deborah. Thanks for your comment.
R – Remember. I do! He was the most giving person I had ever met and he still is! Such a good post, Karen. I need to let him know I remember what I most admired in him and still do till this day!
So sweet, Joanne. Yes, make sure and express it to him. Thanks for sharing!
So important!
I promised to “respect and revere” my husband, and since we memorize our vows, every so often we go back to them.
What a wonderful idea, Michele. Just like some couples have vow renewals, we can at least revist what we promised to each other as a couple from time to time.
I love my husband more than ever before. We met half a century ago. I had no idea at that time what an incredible man of God he was.
It’s in this season of grief that his true colors have burst into bloom. I am so grateful.
That’s a beautiful testament, Linda. Thanks for sharing it.
Karen,
Step One: Humble myself. I make my husband’s lunch for work everyday and I tuck a note inside — what a great place to admire my husband and let my words build him up. Loved this: “Remember your words can make or break your spouse.”
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev, that’s a wonderful practice and sweet thing you do for your husband. Thanks for sharing it here.
Hi Karen, we are married 34 years this year, and this is a great reminder to do things God’s way. Also, a very practical post. I am adding it to my favourites on my blog, because who does not need to read stuff like this regularly for encouragement and advice. Great post.
God bless
Tracy
Thank you, Tracy. Congratulations on 34 years. We celebrated 37 years in April. Agree, we need reminders for our marriages to keep them thriving in the Lord.
Because we know how good it feels when our spouse admires us, we should really take your advice to heart and find some genuine and uplifting encouragement for our spouses today. Thanks, Karen! You’ll have me thinking. 🙂
Lisa, it should make us want to treat our spouse as we want to be treated. If admiration from them encourages us, then it makes perfect sense to offer it with authenticity to them.